Laundry by color

My college friends still remember me bringing two laundry baskets home on weekends: mine and my brother's.  They hailed me Best Sister Ever.  Me?  I just like doing laundry.  (Don't bring up doing dishes, though.  Boo.)

A number of years ago I switched to drying clothes outside.  Something feasible and eco-friendly.  Which saves a bit of $.  Plus, with the kind of sunshine we get here in SoCal, it's a shame not to.  This workhorse of a drying rack -- which collapses to be completely flat, easily stored right next to the washer -- makes things much easier.  It's one of the first gifts I ever got for DC, who enjoys laundry, too.  Romantic, no?

Recently I started arranging clothes on the rack by color.  I must have been really bored or something, but the effect has been revolutionary.

[laundry rainbow]

This has infinitely increased my laundering enjoyment.  I can't go back!  Go ahead, give it a try!

Order of the Towel

DC and I just finished a 10-week marriage preparation course.  The couple who taught and facilitated class has been married for nearly 43 years!  Since then we've met two other couples who've been married that long (at DC's church, and his neighbors); plus, our parents are going on 34 and 37 years, and my namesake and her husband celebrated 55 years of marriage last December.  We are encouraged!

It's crazy to me that for as long as the institution of marriage has been around, there is still so much to learn.  Some of the important lessons during our MPC were:

• The myths or romantic ideals about "finding your other half" or someone who "completes" you are totally false.  If (God forbid) anything happens to your spouse, you have to be a whole person on your own.  It's not same-same, but like-like.  You and your partner are not carbon copies of each other.


• In regards to parents, rather than, "We haven't lost a daughter, but gained a son," or vice versa, each set of parents (or more) needs to recognize the new couple on an equal level with them as fellow marrieds.  That was pretty revolutionary for me.  The Bible says that, "For this reason [marriage] a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Gen 2:24).  In our cultural tradition, however, marriage is not simply the union of individuals but their families as well.  I'm still pondering this one.


• Conflict resoution and good communication needs to be practiced in ALL relationships!  I will be bringing many of the points on love languages, learning styles, intent/action/impact, the five c's (compliment; coach; confront; confess; closure) etc. to the way I interact with my friends, family, and associates.


• Our relationship to each other will grow stronger if we work on having strong individual relationships with God.  He always comes first.  DC and I have always known that and cultivated that in ourselves and one another.  I like the idea of getting to know more couples, at different age groups and stages of marriage, for advice and support.

We also had a segment called, "Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start" (GYSLOTAGS)!  Perhaps a bit shocking for some, but I appreciated the frank nature of the conversation, the acknowledgement that sex is a part of married -- and family -- life, which should be prepared for and enjoyed.  There is even a book by the same name!  Sex Ed: Marriage Edition is totally different from the junior high school version.

A professional wedding planner visited us with tons of advice and information.  I found this very educational, especially since we haven't really made any plans yet!  It's fun to read wedding blogs and see inspiration boards and amazing photos, but it's an overwhelming (to me) amount of work.  Although the course itself is designed to prepare for the marriage and not just the wedding day, it is good not to underestimate the task of having a nice and memorable wedding.

On the last week, there was a Q&A session with other married couples from the church, whose personal stories drove home the fact that marriage is not "happily ever after."  One story that particularly struck me was Mr. M's.  He told us how the metaphor of a tandem bike really doesn't adequately describe a good marriage because the image is of only one person steering; at one point in their marriage, his wife got off, and he didn't know what to do.  Since then, he learned to think of his marriage in terms of a dance: there are times when their steps are exactly the same,when they are complementing or mirroring the other's steps, and when he and his wife may be doing their own separate moves; yet they remain unified on the dance floor (in the marriage).  I'll remember that story each time I see the tandem bike motif on wedding invitation suites.

Finally, we were given our "diplomas": handtowels.  They are to remind us to serve one another.  I chose this geometric weave, which will always remind me of India, where one of our instructors was born and grew up.

["don't throw in the towel; pick it up and use it."]

One of the first things that DC and I got on the same page about when we got engaged is that we would like our preparation for marriage to be led by and pleasing to God, and a witness to our friends and family who don't yet know Him or who are far from Him.  I like that the MPC covered a lot of different yet real and relevant topics, and love that it is regularly offered by my church to educate and encourage, and come alongside to grow couples and families.

Onwards!

Why did I move out then, you ask?

A few reasons.

Downsizing.  I realized that 630 sq feet is a lot of space for one person.  Especially for me, since my folks' and brother's homes (where we have our weekly dinners for anywhere between five and a dozen people) are nearby.  Throughout the week I am generally out and about with friends or doing church activities.  I didn't host friends or fellowship groups at home as much as I'd wanted to and felt that I could live in a much smaller apartment -- even a studio -- so as not to "waste" the space I was occupying.

So I'd been looking for a new apartment -- slowly, casually -- probably since February.  In early March, on the way home from my birthday trip to London, DC -- the man of my dreams! -- proposed!   He'd been carrying the ring around all week, waiting for the right moment and the right sequence of words, and I was clueless and traipsing about town the entire time!  So now there's a big day and a life for which to start preparing -- and saving.  So it made more sense to downsize.  But...DC didn't want me to enter into another nine- to 12-month lease.

To where am I moving, then...?

Nope, not in with DC (we won't share an address until we're married).

[new digs]

Believe it or not, I'm moving in with my future in-laws!  Well... only sorta.  They'll stay here only when they're in town.  I kinda consider it long-term house-sitting.  Though I'll have the freedom to arrange and organize things as I see fit.  And I'll have an outdoor space to relax and do a little gardening: a dream come true.

I'll live out my last days of maidenhood here -- maybe more, as DC and I haven't decided where we'll live after we're wed.  My future in-laws have been so accommodating, donating their old sofa to make room for mine, an in other ways doing their best to make me feel at home here.  I actually stayed here all this week, and Mrs. C woke up early to make me coffee, prepare a little breakfast, have a little chat before I headed off.  

My living space actually got upsized!  There's a different feeling, though, because I know that it's "all in the family."  I get to entertain here, too, and since it's closer to more people, there is a greater possibility of that happening for reals.  On top of all this, it's nice to slowly merge our lives together.  It feels good; it feels right; it feels ever so blessed.

A short sayonara

[apartment, emptied]

I took today off to ensure enough time (and energy!) to finish well before handing in my keys.  Got there about 10:00 to pack the last carload and get my clean on, with a midday appointment for the final walk-through.

The landlord arrived first, with his handyman; his wife came about 15 minutes later. I was still cleaning the stove (baking powder works like a charm!) and giving the kitchen cabinets a last wipe-down.  They didn't stay long, and from what I could make of their conversation, were preparing for the new tenant.  That's cool.

I came downstairs about an hour later, and my landlady was ready to give me back my full deposit, plus some extra for the bathroom mirror I added.  Wow, that's never happened before!  She said goodbye and good luck, I got in my car and drove off.  And that was it.

It was so brief.  Yet so... final.  And I make that observation because the very reason I'm leaving is in order to prepare for a lifelong relationship.  A kinda interesting contrast.

Fresh out of college, or soon thereafter,  or years after, I would have written a very melodramatic post about such an incident.  But age, experience, and being closer to God leave me okay with relationships that come to an end (though I suppose the contractual, business nature of this one is less emotional than the end of a friendship would have been).

I no longer feel the need to chase after people, to keep in touch with every single person I ever met.  I like being free -- in both my heart and my calendar -- to pursue new interests that lead to new friendships, or simply free to greet (i.e. not be annoyed by) the day's encounters.  And I like the fact that saying goodbye to those who know God is only really a "See ya later" untnil we will meet again on the true side of eternity.

Besides, saying goodbye to my landlords means saying hello to the life that lies ahead!  Onwards!

Starting backwards

It seems strange that my first entry is about my last days here. In this apartment. Where I've lived for 13 months. On my own. For the first time since Japan [eight years ago]. But it makes sense to me to look back. Before I go forward. To search within. Before I seek out.

The decision to move out on my own (read: no more roommates) was a tough one, especially when it came to finances. Could I afford 1.5x what I was paying in rent? Would it be worth it? And -- crazily -- Should I just move home and save $$$? Despite my BFF's advice, 'Peace of mind is priceless,' the reality of my financial situation (let's call it 'puberty' rather than 'immaturity') made that harder to put into practice... But I did it. Chose the apartment that was $50 cheaper and closer to family to boot; packed up and shuttled boxes by the carload, and with the help and heft of family and friends, moved in to my very own one-bedroom apartment.

And I've loved it.

From setting up my tabletop burner for a quick fix before the gas was turned on,

[first meal: popcorn]

to furniture configurations and reconfigurations (made easier to do on a whim thanks to hardwood floors),

[living room, initially]

to putting up art and holiday decor,

[living room, bedecked]

to growing a windowsill garden and, in the last four months, adding a desk and getting the best living room set up

[living room, perfected]

it's truly been a great experience of living on my own. I've enjoyed the freedom of not always having to be neat as well as the responsibility and joy of creating a home and haven for myself. I was also really lucky to have mom n' pop landlords who were responsive (they replaced a ceiling fan, installed a hood over the range in a weekend, and put up shelves and art at a phone call's notice) and also grateful to have a low-maintenance, clean tenant.

I learned a lot over the past year here. To enjoy cooking more. To try new things. That I like change every now and then. That classical music over brunch on weekends is delightful. That south facing light is the bomb.

Funny how, as I'm packing up, the apartment looks so much like it did when I moved in: boxes every which way and lots of empty floor space. I'm happy that some of the improvements I made (that entry mirror used to be in the bathroom, before I replaced it with a proper cabinet) were happily embraced by my landlord and will remain for the new tenant; I like the idea of leaving a place a little nicer for the next person. Before I leave, though, here are a few more images of my apartment as it was for me.

[craft corner; that top wall shelf stayed, too]

[living room: ode to japon]

[entry: scarves + sandals = so california]

[bedroom, corner]

[bedroom]

[bedroom, closets]

I leave this place with the last of my belongings (from the fridge), exhaling with satisfaction over the time I've spent here. Ready for what's ahead. Onwards!

Liberty Loot

Even before our London trip, blogland was abuzz with news of the Liberty for Target collection.  There was a lot of anticipation in the air, and sadly -- sadly -- I gave in. 

It was the first weekend after returning from London.  I got up early and hightailed it over to the local Target.  They were still putting up the displays!  But I managed to nab a couple of items.

Later, I went to a couple other Targets, 'just to see what they have.'

[liberty loot]

By the end of the day, here's what I'd collected: a couple of dresses, garden gloves, notebooks, a canister, a couple of girls dresses.  Oh, and a pair of rain boots that I'd asked my brother to pick up, 'just to see.'

[liberty boots]

And when I looked at all that I'd 'scored,' I realized that I didn't need nearly any of it.  I'd just got sucked into the hoopla.  And it really bothered me because I like to think that I'm cool and utilitarian and minimalist and above the hype.  When, really, I'm much more easily influenced.

Which kinda got me thinking how the blog world is incredibly inspiring, but is, simultaneously, incredibly consumer- and collection-driven.  At least for someone like me, who is like a naive little sponge when it comes to all that visual stimulation.  I love looking at it, but it remains a cyber-world that I haven't yet been able to bridge with reality (despite all the 'normal people' photos and home tours).

So... I went back to the reality of my Liberty loot, chose a few items that I knew I'd like and wear, and returned the rest.  I ended up with one dress, one girl's dress (which, in XL, fits me like a tunic, or a very very short dress, if I am so daring), garden gloves, and a tie for DC.  Oh, and a random recent rainy day made me keep those rain boots after all.  And it was delightful to run up to my office, nearly late, without fear of getting wet or slipping.  So: worth it!

These days I have also limited my blog intake, especially as I try to find my voice again as well as my own inspiration.  There's a place for it on the screen that I appreciate greatly, but with SoCal weather and, more importantly, the right attitude, inspiration abounds all over the place.  And I'm out to get me some!

Yes, crochet!

Being an aunty makes me crazy for baby crafting.  I've spend an inordinate amount of time looking up patterns -- seriously, I could be knitting until the GreyBaby starts kindergarten.

And yet, when it came down to it, I looked through my stash, found some sock leftovers, grabbed a crochet hook and went for it.

[crochet]

Yes, crochet.  It's much faster than knitting -- which is very handy because the entire first few months of a baby's life is one big growth spurt.

This hat I had to re-do a couple of times as the GreyBaby's head was bigger than I'd thought (or grew a lot while I was making it).  Good thing I see him at least weekly.  We had fun fitting parties (mostly while he was asleep). I finally finished, just in time for his first road trip!

[greybaby]

Isn't he just the cutest thing?!

I can hardly believe this was nearly two months ago!  Happy to report that the hat still fits, albeit barely, and he turns around so much now that the next one will have to have a strap to fit under those chins.

Oh, and did I mention that since GreyBaby, no less than four births have taken place.  With two more in as many months!  Just call me Jean, Jean, Crafting Machine!