Spontaneous

Did you have a good Easter? I sure did!

It actually started the week before, on Palm Sunday. My pastor's sermon was on John 3:16. At one point he talked about how God's attributes are inextricable, even the ones that seem opposed or that people make out to be so. The two he used as examples were love and justice: God exacts justice because he loves us; yet his justice is drenched in love. Listening to this, I got teary-eyed, because I felt that God was speaking directly to me. I had been wanting some sort of justice when it came to the end of my relationship with DC, and then I felt selfish and then guilty about wanting it.  When I heard the sermon I was assured that God had heard my cries, seen my tears, and was telling me that it was okay to desire justice, it didn't mean that I didn't love DC.  It's precisely because I loved him so much that I wanted the justice -- not a shaking-my-fist or getting-the-last-say or take-that, but something healthy for the both of us, so we could move on to our own better days. God didn't say whether I would ever get that justice (I hardly even know what it would look like), but knowing he hears -- and is here -- means so much more, and so much more, I realized, than whether DC ever hears me at all.  God doesn't promise us easy times or happy endings, but he does promise never to leave nor to forsake.  Being assured of that in a personal way was a huge step towards healing my heart, and was an awesome start to Holy Week.

The highlights of pre-Easter were Maundy Thursday, which entailed sharing a meal and some discussion with a group of friends; and attending my first Easter Vigil, wherein I witnessed my BFF's confirmation. It was a tingling time.

Easter Sunday itself was a lovely celebration service, flanked on both ends by meals and good conversations with friends.  It proceeded into a quiet afternoon and evening at home, doing some light cleaning and catching up on cross-stitch.

On Monday I was reminded of how great it is to allow the moment to just happen: an IM session led to an impromptu dinner and cello recital.

I broke my Lenten fast (from alcohol) as it happened to be Wine Night at the Lazy Ox Canteen; I diverted further from my norm of California wines and ordered a bottle from Montepulciano, Italy (a friend had gone there and raved about the vino). I have the remaining 1/3 of the bottle to enjoy at home (didn't know that you could have an unfinished bottle corked to for takeaway). We had a tasty meal -- here's a glimpse of my favorite items:

[sugar snap peas with quinoa + yuzu]

[caramelized cauliflower with mint + pine nuts]

Afterwards we headed over to USC's university church -- an old building, over a century old -- for the recital. I'm not very knowledgeable about classical music, but was told it was a good program. In the midst of it I realized that there was no way I would ever really remember the way each piece sounded, so I invested myself fully in the moment and thoroughly enjoyed each draw of the bow, each pluck of the string, each flourish of the accompanying piano.

[from the balcony]

What a wonderful start to the week! I wish all Mondays could be like this, but, then again, am glad they're not.  And it's already Friday today, too!  Here's to taking the moment as it comes, and being fully present in it! Have you had a chance to do that this week?